The End...for now :)

Dear readers (if any are still reading this after weeks of non-entry!)

Clearly, I am not disciplined enough to stick with this without a clear goal. :)
So, rather than continue to feel guilty without repentance - I'm quitting this!
Maybe I'll pick it up again someday when I've got more direction for it, but no promises.
I'd love to continue to stay in touch with you through Facebook or email or phone or letter, etc.

Thanks for sticking with me this long! :) ~~

Herding Cats

"Only children are just...missing something." Not to put you down if you are one - I'm sure there are many benefits. But I have talked to enough only children (and spouses of only children!) to feel comfortable in this generalization. My last brother has at last finished high school last week. We had his party and all of us came from wherever we are to hang out for three solid days. It took us two hours to make cold cereal for breakfast what with everyone trying to get the other to do it and every sentance reminding someone else of a quote from a favorite family movie, prompting another to make some kind of wisecrack leading to a brief wrestling match leading to the winner attempting to convince the loser of their solemn duty to get out the breakfast bowls. I cried from laughing so hard.
     I cooked, drained, rinsed, oiled and packaged ten boxes of pasta. The single bathroom was always occupied at the wrong time. (Actually, it was always occupied. Period.) We took a family photo. (I think I should get an award for corralling eight cats, I mean people, and coercing them to behave and stand still multiple times "to get a good one!" and ensuring a semblance of color coordination. They think I should get an award for being bossy.) We caught up on seven diverse lives. (And all the lives of everyone connected in any way with any of those seven lives!) We managed to catch Pirates 4, consume almost four large pizzas, hit some baseballs, and make it home to bake and butter and season seven bags of breadsticks way too late at night.
     At the baseball field, I claimed all time catcher as soon as I could. (By catcher I mean ball-picker-upper because I sure wasn't about to run around trying to catch all those fouls!) From that vantage point I could be part-time spectator and full-time sentimental sap. I watched those four boys who are now grown men run around in the outfield and my heart overflowed. Not a bad one in the bunch. They are all, every one, men of integrity and responsibility, of humor and kindness. They know how to treat a lady right and they always will. They hold their jobs and their money. They think critically and are quick to help others.
     Our family wasn't perfect. In fact, like most others, some aspects were downright dysfunctional by some standards. But those four men made the choice to be amazing. Sunday morning we filled the whole row at church and I felt like standing on the chair and shouting, "Look! These are my brothers and they are four of the coolest men I have ever met!" They are all seeking God and trying to figure this life out.
     So thanks little brothers. Thanks for giving me the honor and blessing of watching you grow up. I am so stinking proud of every single one of you. But you still have to fix my breakfast. :)
~Stick to it!

Short fiction story

"They say that you don't need to be intimidated by anyone. 'We all put our pants on one leg at a time.' Or something like that. I appreciate the sentiment, but it just simply isn't true. Case in point: I dress both legs at once. They also say, 'Necessity is the mother of invention.' I sleep four feet off the carpet on a platform of two-by-fours. Leaves room for underbed storage. Two levels worth, in fact. I reside in a 3rd floor walk-up studio. Not much space for excessive...anything. As if I wanted to carry excessive stuff up that many stairs.
    Anyway, when the alarm goes off, I fling an arm to my handy dresser and tug a drawer out to rest near the comforter. I flop, fish-like, into clean underwear and then open another drawer, this one near the ruffle. (Jeans on the left, for most days. Dress pants on the right, for days when I've gotten out of bed and turned the light on because I actually care what color they are.) I haul my torso upright, pushing feet at the waistband and sliding the cuffs to knee height. Like a kid at the park, I slide off the edge - into my pants and to a standing finish.
     (Except some days it's more like a kid at the pool. You know, the one who has to be rescued by the lifeguard because he forgot that the water is only three feet deep and still has his legs in the air and panicked at the thought of his imminent death by drowning. Some days my feet get caught on the dresser and I find myself flailing ineffectually as gravity wedges me in a V between my two levels of underbed storage and the too-handy dresser.)  
     Lastly, I bend down to the bottom drawer of tshirts. While there, I carefully touch each pinky toe twice. This, I am confident, counts as exercise. I unfold, arms overhead, dropping the shirt on as I stretch. Now I am ready for the day.
     And when I meet someone new, I will not be intimidated. They, after all, put their pants on one leg at a time."
~Stick to it!
    

Of May 21, 2011

There's a lot of hullaballoo about this Saturday. End of the world or wacko story? Call to prepare or just one more cult off its rocker? Personally, I'm just living life. I got to a point in my life where I decided - you have to pick something. Evidence is strong that people need something bigger than themselves. The more people you talk to, the more options of what that "something bigger" is. They are too contradicting to all be true. So you pick. One might call it playing the odds. In a sense, we are all gamblers. Most options give you some kind of second chance - reincarnation, purgatory then heaven, or simply nothingness. Not too bad. Some, though, make this life really matter. One shot, then eternity - heaven or hell. I like my odds. Don't get me wrong, I stick with Biblical Christianity for many other reasons. But I'm ok with living with the tension of a slight bit of uncertainty. Sooner or later we will all die and truth will no longer be debated.
     But I digress - what about Saturday? If you can't get in touch with me on Sunday and the rest of the world is in chaos (even more than usual) with thousands of disappearances across the globe - I would suggest you rethink your former spiritual positions. But if the Judgement Day RV's are still occupied come May 22, my faith hasn't changed. If the God of the Bible is right, than this life has an end. Whether by death or by Rapture, I won't be here forever. And if I care about you and your future, at some point I might ask you to consider your odds.
~Stick to it!

Homemade Chai

One of the great things about being home is the time to play! My Better Half eats cooking experiments on a regular basis! :) Some successes so far: Cajun Chicken (or Beef) Alfredo, Red Pepper Beef over Rice, and Autumn Pork (with apple butter and sweet potatoes.)
     But today I tried making Chai. After comparing several Googled recipes, I picked one - and of course, immediately changed it. I'm not the kind of person who will go out and buy ingredients just for one recipe. If I don't have it on hand - it ain't goin' in. (Which is one reason why it's good MBH isn't picky. Sometimes substitutions are...interesting!) Here's what I did: (And I like it!)
    
1 1/4 t ground cinnamon
1 t ground cardamon
3/4 t ground cloves
1/8 t ground ginger
4 whole black peppercorns
3 c water
*Bring to a boil, reduce to med-low and simmer 5 minutes.
*Remove from heat, cover, let steep 10 minutes.
*Return to boiling.

Add 2 chai (or regular black) tea bags.
*Remove from heat, steep 5 minutes.

Add 3 Tb brown sugar
Add 1 c 2% (or whole) milk
*Heat on med-low 2 minutes.

*Strain anyway you want to. Or can. (I poured the mixture into a measuring pitcher, then through a mesh tea ball into my cup. Not very efficient, but that's what I had.)
*Enjoy! (Or refrigerate and enjoy chilled later.)
~Stick to it!

Resolution update

Back in January I established four 2011 resolutions. Thought I'd take a look back on how I'm doing...
     SPIRITUAL - Have a daily quiet time. Well, the daily might be a bit of a stretch, but 4-5 times a week is working. A few (highly recommended) books I've been using:
"A Diary of Private Prayer" by John Baillie. Penned in 1949, with prayers for each morning (Praise/thanks) and evening (confession/supplication) and a couple extra for Sundays.
"The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. Without bashing men or guilting women, let me just say that I think a wife has the determining role in the climate of a marriage. She chooses to build up her house or to tear it down and prayer is a great way to build it.
"Principles of Spiritual Growth" by Miles Stanford. Written as mentorship letters, each chapter addresses...a principle of spiritual growth! (You didn't see that coming, did you!)
"The 17:18 Series" published by Full Quiver LLC. The coolest Bible study book I've ever found. You word-for-word handcopy books of the Bible on the right-hand pages. Left side is primarily blank, for your notes, study, word definitions, reflections, whatever. Any pace you like, as deep or shallow as you choose.
     EMOTIONAL - I want to be more gracious. This one is a little uncomfortable right now. I'm convicted of some long-standing unforgiveness in my heart. As much as I desire to forgive, humanly, I am finding that I can't. How do you forgive someone who just keeps hurting you? Without going into details to explain, let me just say that this is a friendship I am called to continue. (No, not my husband, family, or even a close friend!) So I find that I rely on God to give me grace for each encounter, and trust in the power of the Holy Spirit to change my heart since I can't.
     MENTAL - Still reading "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. I decided to underline quotes. And, of course, I couldn't start underlining halfway through the book! So I started over. Still good. :)
     PHYSICAL - Tried Yoga Thursday night and even this morning. (9am - not ideal, so it may not last.) A little bit sore, but glad to be doing something again. I'm aiming (not obsessing) for 1600 calories over five meals per day. So far, so good - I still feel like I'm getting enough food. (That is the determining factor in any diet - not a fan of being hungry.) Did you know that you can eat about 30 cups of raw spinach and still only consume about 300 calories? Think you'd be full? (I have neither tried this, nor recommend it. 30 cups of anything green in one meal is overkill. Just my opinion!)
     ~Stick to it!
     

 

Stay at home wife, pt 2

     Last week at this time, I was driving home from work, relieved to be at the end of an era. (At least in the short span of my life. So it was, relatively speaking, a very short era...) Today at this time, I'm pondering my character flaws. I have discovered that my lack of time was NOT the reason why so many tasks remained undone in the past. No, truth be told, it's because...not sure exactly. But now I have plenty of time and that box labeled "Things to sort before we move AGAIN!" is still only half sorted. (The first half of sorting was a bit of a fluke. My Better Half (MBH) was home and I think I was trying to impress him with how beneficial it would be to have me at home full-time!) I keep moving it around, hoping that the contents will settle a bit more and not look so daunting. My favorite place for it was in the closet, but I knew that was not the RIGHT place for it. Pretty sure it's old tax papers that need to be sorted, filed, shredded, or otherwise dealt with...
      And then there's the grunge in the tub - someone should probably scrub that. And the floor. And vacuum. And remember all those deep cleaning tasks that should be done when you move in, or seasonally? Let's NOT remember. (I also have several projects I want to accomplish, but they're fairly large. Better not start them til I have everything under control and can just focus on projects for a couple weeks...) Maybe...I think this week should be my organizational week. You know, the time when I make lots of lists so I know what to eat and when, how to exercise and where, which errands to run and why - then NEXT week I can actually start doing stuff. Besides, I just retired! Shouldn't I have a week or two (or maybe a month...) to relax and revel in my new-found freedom? Who knew four channels of cable (four cause those are the free ones) could keep one so occupied!
     Lest you think that I have become a stereotypical bum wife - in my defense, I only watch TV at night. I have too much self-respect (and too high of an IQ) to watch soap operas all day. (And if you are an avid soap fan, you can just be offended because they are junk.) Or maybe a movie a day. (Netflix streams through the Wii - big screen and unlimited...) When MBH needed a runner for one of his jobs - I was available. He has had a full cooler of home-cooked food to take to work every time. I started counting calories and practicing the piano. (Don't tell my students - I hammered on them too much to admit that I didn't ever practice myself!)
     There's a free Yoga class tomorrow night - think I'll try it. It was last Thursday, too, but it started at six and at five I realized I didn't have a thing to wear. So I ran to the store, tried on every single Yoga top they had in all four different sizes and five different colors, bought the two that were the best, got home and still couldn't decide which one was more modest, so chickened out at 5:59. When MBH got home I made him evaluate them and planned to wear my final selection on the following Tuesday. But Tuesday afternoon we decided to go to a 4:15 movie. It was two hours long. Oh, shucks. Missed Yoga again...
     It's 9pm and I think I'll read a little and head to bed. Rereading "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. I need to remember that this marriage, this life, isn't about being happy. (Tho I am very!) It's about fulfilling the purposes for which I exist. One of which is to imitate the God who sticks to Who He is and what He does.
~Stick to it!

These days too...

The "rule" is that, if you go to church on Christmas and Easter, you go to heaven. Or something like that. Well, I made Christmas, but I skipped Easter. What happens then? Does only half of me go to heaven? Or do I enjoy the pearly gates for only half of eternity? I could say that I didn't go because I was making a religious statement. Something like "You can qualify for heaven without going to church on Easter." Or protesting the hypocrisy of only attending two days a year. But I'm not really that radical. Nor did I put that much foresight into it.
     We got to bed late the night before and I forced myself out of it way too late the next morning and I was running behind and then next thing you know I'm seething mad at My Better Half (MBH) over six things even though I've only spat out three of them at him and only two of them actually apply to this morning and the last thing I want to do is show up on the morning of new dresses and new starts looking beautiful and feeling ugly.
     Easter is about Jesus dying because of my sin and returning to life because of His perfection. The Resurrection means that I have hope: Someone else took the punishment for the laws I have broken, I don't have to live in defeat, and I don't have to wonder about life after death. But life is still messy. I'm not perfect and sometimes I get tired of pretending I am. Is there a place to go where I can sit in the back row and cry, not because I'm broken over my wrongdoing or because I'm afraid of hell, but just because I'm ticked off that MBH isn't as perfect as I want - and neither am I? That place didn't seem to be church this morning.
     So I stayed home and stewed for a bit. Then I reminded myself that we still loved each other and that God already knew I wasn't perfect. Jesus paid for these days, too. And no, I didn't go to church on Easter, but that was never a requirement for heaven anyway.
~Stick to it!~

Lawful or lawless...

For those who may not have heard the story, let me just say that when you move to a new state you can choose to be law-abiding or not. If you were a law-abiding citizen, you would have obtained new titles, registrations, licenses, etc within thirty days of residence. Which seems like a somewhat logical time frame, except for the number of roadblocks prohibiting easy compliance. As is so often the case, the right course of action is not the easiest. Thirty minutes of internet research, two phone calls, four hours, two days, and three trips to the ATM, we finally have our new title and registrations.
     In my attempt to be wise, I did even more research before attempting to update my driver's license. Emphasis on the amount of effort involved. I packed my old license, a current bill, my newly updated registration, my checkbook, and my Social Security card (just to be on the safe side) and drove to the DMV one more time.
     Upon arriving, I was relieved to find that, just as last time, the line for unfortunates needing registrations was three long rows, but the license line was much shorter. Except that there appeared to be multiples... Which desk was the start? The unmarked desk that could be general customer service? The unmanned desk with multiples forms of various colors? The desk marked "License: Address changes"? One of the several desks paired with those horrid blue photo screens? (I didn't want to start there. Not yet. I had almost not made this trip today because I looked awful and those pictures aren't flattering to start with. But tomorrow being Friday, I'm sure the experience would have been worse, tho I would have looked better.)
     I hovered by the unmarked desk before concluding that, as no one even looked at me, it must not be customer service. I stood in the address change line for a bit, but this couldn't be right - I didn't have any completed forms in hand like the rest. Finally I decided on the paperwork desk. Another quandary: Which form? There was a pile of white, a pile of yellow, and a pile of blue. Each had their own little sign which was intended to be helpful, but wasn't. Was I changing my address or applying for a new license? Did moving count as a renewal or an expiration? At last I concluded that the yellow was for a CDL, the blue was address changes, and the white...I still wasn't sure. I grabbed the blue.
     Completed form in hand, I made my way back to the address line. A smiling older lady approached me. "Do you know which line I should be in?" I could have hugged her. She was here to renew, and if a native didn't understand local DMV etiquette, then I didn't feel so bad. But I had to shrug - I was crossing my fingers as it was. The teenager behind me pulled loose one IPod cord long enough to point at the blue-screened line. "Renewals." Grandma headed over there and we inched forward in line.
     My turn. "Out-of sta..." A manicured finger pointed back at the paperwork desk. Clearly I needed the white form and the blue line. More info printed, this time in horizontal rows instead of vertical. Grandma joined me, a blue screen reject. We bonded over deciphering which form was in our best interest, and what information went where and why. It seemed obvious that, although we were both currently successful drivers, we lacked the IQ for the paperwork. Meanwhile, photographers snapped photos of a buckled building wall. Apparently, a legally licensed driver had run into it while attempting to park earlier that day. I had to chuckle at the irony.
     White form, blue line...another sign - something about standing by a yellow sign. But no such sign was in sight, so I waited by the white one instead. A hand gestured at me from the back wall "Me?" I gestured back. It increased the tempo. Bellying up to the desk, I realized why the hand had gestured. The clerk could barely talk above a whisper. It didn't seem like the best time to mention I don't always hear well, so I settled in to reading lips. He wanted my papers. I pushed the pile to him, white form on top. He typed and clicked and printed and pushed papers back at me. Was all the info correct? It wasn't. My name was misspelled. I pushed them back. More typing and clicking and then a sigh. The computer felt that I should not correct my name. A call to the supervisor. She was perhaps out to lunch in the middle of the afternoon? A call to a different supervisor. She agreed that it would be best if my name was spelled correctly on my drivers license and worked her magic to have it be so. More typing, clicking, and printing. Aha! Everything seemed to be in order.
     NOW to the address change line, which was also the money line. Fortunately (for them as well as me) everyone else had completed their business and gone home, leaving me first in line. I handed my pile to the manicured lady who extracted the one she needed and returned the rest. I wrote out the check, resigned to the fact that, although I had just paid to update my old license, there wasn't going to be any refund. In return, she handed me a single sheet of paper printed with my photo and the reassuring words "With Driving Privileges." I certainly hoped so.
     Behind me I heard a steady flow of Spanish. A translator was assisting a non-English-speaker to move through the chaos. At that moment I realize that - despite the fact that I am native to the country, raised speaking the language, college-educated, and score high on standarized tests - I wish I had a translator, too.
     ~Stick to it!
    

Stay-at-home...wife?

It's been a mad dash as My Better Half (MBH) decided to move up the ladder, we moved to the big city, I moved through the busy season of my work, and the money moved for taxes, and now I have three weeks left as an employed person and suddenly May is looking very...unmoving.
     "What are you going to DO?" Everyone wants to know, and truth be told, sometimes I want to know just the same. It's been almost a decade of moving, and the thought of stopping is a bit mind-boggling. Still, after all the analysis and logistics and discussion and evaluation - it makes sense to stop.
     Most people have been supportive, encouraging, and affirming as I make this career change. Some have been a bit quizzical, but tolerant of my choice. But a few remain convinced that I don't mean it, shouldn't mean it, and am a bit odd to even try to mean it. You know what I wish I could get in their face about? Why should a woman have to maintain TWO full-time jobs? I'm thankful that stay-at-home moms are beginning to get some support. But why should I have to produce progeny in order to validate a "household management" career?
     (Important footnote here - none of the following is meant to condemn women who work out of actual need or out of personal preferance. But I belong to the large category of those who live above the poverty line and who lack a burning obsession to pursue a career. ) 
     I might not know exactly how I will fill the hours of each day in the future, but I do know that currently, there aren't enough hours IN each day. Phone calls, appointments, errands - all the things that have to be done between business hours, but outside the job hours. (Does that seem a bit unrealistic to anyone else?) Then letters, food preparation, cleaning, paperwork - all the things that get done before business hours, or after job hours. If you want to eat (at least good food, not microwaved leftover casseroles), exercise, spend time with hubby, or do anything else fun, don't plan to sleep much! In my unscientific opinion, women possess an extraordinary tolerance for being overworked.
     (Side note to all who believe that all household tasks should be evenly divided, and careers should be given equal weight, and childcare should be precisely 50/50, etc - Good luck!)
     If my first calling is to serve God, and my second calling is to serve MBH as the second productive half of a team, and if he is serving God by pursuing his calling - then when I am free to manage the household affairs, enabling him to devote himself to God's work, then I am doing an important job. And I refuse to be so masochistic as to excel at that vital work while attempting to maintain an equal level of success in the workforce. Maybe you can do it. Maybe you want to do it. But I choose to stop. Women fought for the right to work. Maybe I want the right not to work.
~Stick to it!

A last ditch effort...

     So My Better Half (MBH) and I left our beloved little town of 300 (and our even more beloved town of 7000) and moved to the "big city." And I'm beginning to think that I should get myself a bumper sticker: "Please forgive my good manners - I'm from a small town." Who knew you weren't supposed to look people in the eye! Or that a previously unoccupied lane would suddenly have one speedy and very short-tempered driver who stridently doubts your genetic heritage is as human as it appears.
     Still, I think we will like it here. Today I walked to the stores. (Note the plural! They have multiples here!) I forgot chicken, so drove back and found a new, less congested route home again. (Adventure!) It's nice to have other people in the building on the nights when MBH is at work. (Their little yippy dogs on the other hand...) And I don't have to scoop the snow this winter. (Although, if the past couple months were any indication, I don't think anyone else scoops the snow either! Or plows the roads...)
     I pulled out P90X Kenpo yesterday and it kicked my tush. But maybe after a few months...
~Stick to it!

The Value of R, part 2

Did I make you wait long enough? :)
     So what's the grace connection? Mr. Egg (That's his new nickname, pretty sure he would hate it, if he hasn't already heard it in his past!) provides two six letter acronyms, one for husbands to better love their wives (which we'll skip) and one for wives to better respect their husbands. (And I gotta say, the number one thing I came away with was "assume he doesn't mean to hurt you..." As much as I don't understand how My Better Half could possibly not innately comprehend every little thing that might possibly hurt or offend me at any given point in any given month and thus consistantly never do anything even unintentionally that might be misconstrued by me even on my grumpiest days - sometimes he really didn't do it on purpose.)
So here it is -
     C.H.A.I.R.S.=
     Conquest - Appreciate his desire to work and achieve.
Value his occupation and support his efforts to provide for you. (Notice: occupation, not prime occupation. Efforts, not success. Grace!) God made Adam to work. Recognize that and always, even in implication, speak positively of his vocation. Say thank you. (Who knew I needed to relearn something taught in preschool!)
     Hierarchy - Appreciate his desire to protect and provide.
It is his responsibility to to care for you. Have the humility to accept his correction. (Does it really matter how something is done if both ways are functional? Grace!) Trust that he is concerned about finances and other means of provision. Communicate that you are content with what God provides through your husband.
     Authority - Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead.
In a stalemate disagreement, defer to his decision, trusting God for the result. In conflict, be soft-spoken, not pouty. (As if women ever pout!) "Ironically, when a wife fears she will bury her brains, she creates fear in him that he'll be called brainless. And fearing she'll become a doormat, she creates fear in him that he'll be walked on." Praise good decisions, be gracious in times of bad decisions. (Don't say "I told you so!" Even if you did.) See! Grace!
     Insight - Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel.
This boiled down to humility for me. I have held many leadership positions, official and unofficial. As one accustomed to summarizing data to find the best solutions, it's a challenge to concede that my analysis may have missed something! This also means resisting the urge to publically adjust his speech, his skills, his manners, his methods, his drinks, his dress, his habits, his hobbies, his...You get the picture. Grace!
     Relationship - Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship.
You don't actually have to talk! (I remember the first time I realized that MBH thought watching football together for two hours was quality time! Unfortunately, he will probably remember it, too. Not one of my better moments.) Just watch him do stuff. Encourage him to hang with his guy buddies sometimes. (Another great book describes this as "men are like rubber bands - give them some distance and pretty soon they'll snap back!") Grace!
     Sexuality - Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy.
(You knew this was coming, didn't you!) "Just as the devil will do everything he can to bring two people together sexually before marriage, he does everything he can to keep them away from each other after marriage." Think of this need as corresponding to your need to talk to him. How would you feel about not talking for weeks? Grace!

Since I'm in a resolutions mood at the moment, here they are:
     C - I choose to speak positively of his work and make sacrifices for his success. When he succeeds, it is my success as well.
     H - I choose to accept his ways of caring for me and not fight to "stand up for myself" as I did when I was single. When I accept his strengths, he is more open to accepting mine.
     A - I choose to give MBH the final word, trusting God for the outcome. As he grows in decision-making and experience, he will learn to value and realistically evaluate my input.
     I - I choose to admit that I am not always right (Who knew!) and to resist correcting him. When I accept his counsel, God will use it for good in my life.
     R - I choose to make sharing his world a priority. (The dishes won't walk away!) Sharing his experiences opens up opportunities to more deeply appreciate his soul.
     S - I choose to never shame him for his needs. What better time to talk then after intimacy?

One final quote: "I believe that ultimately a refusal to submit to or respect your husband is a refusal to trust in God. If we as women believe that God is working in our lives and in our husbands' lives, and we can place ourselves under His authority, then we can submit to and respect our husbands." ~~
    

The Value of R, part 1

Math is not one of my strong points, so anything that suggests of combining letters and numbers always impresses me. I did pretty well in addition and subtraction. In fact, I still have some parts of the multiplication tables memorized! (Ok, well, mostly just helpful tips such as "When multiplying nine by ...six...for example...subtract one from six and the result from nine and then put the two numbers together: fifty-four.") Anyway, the point is, I was trying to think of an interesting title for this post and it made me think of math. (I know! What a boring point!)
     I gained some new insight last night about being gracious. What I think of as me being gracious to My Better Half (MBH), he receives as RESPECT - something that men were created to need. At Bible study last night we got to talking about marriage (A group of women sitting around talking about their husbands and marriage! How unusual, right!) and the book "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs came up. (I feel sorry for him as a kid. A chicken last name and matching initials to boot. He must have developed some character from that!) I had heard of it before, and asked to borrow it. And of course skimmed through the whole thing before finally turning out the lights. (MBH wasn't home to make sure I got my beauty sleep!)
     It's a great book! A little slow for me. (I have a critical nature. Can you tell?) I wanted the three steps (or six steps, as it turned out) to being a good wife and moving on. The first third of the book explains why love and respect are important, how they mutually feed off each other, and gives stories of people helped by the concept. (Interesting but unnecessary. I already want to respect MBH and know it will be good for me in return, I just don't always know how to do it.) The second third is addressed to the husbands on how they can better love their wives. (That part was affirming - I'm not crazy for wanting the things I want, or feeling the things I feel. However, I still skimmed it. I don't need help in figuring out all the things MBH is not doing - I can give him a list all on my own.)
     So just as I was having trouble propping my eyelids open and beginning to think maybe I should save the rest for tomorrow, I got to the final third - the how to be a respectful wife. And along the way, I understood grace a little better, too.
     So how does it work? Wait and see! :) ~~

Grace

Grace: /graas/
1) a- unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - not by works, so that no one can boast." -Eph 2:8-9 NIV
    b- a virtue coming from God
"And from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace." -John 1:16 ESV

2) a- approval, favor
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ...to the praise of the glory of His grace, bu which He made us accepted in the Beloved." -Eph 1:3,6 NKJV
    b- an act of kindness, courtesy, or clemency
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." -Hebrews 4:16 NIV

3) an attractive characteristic
"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." -Colossians 4:5-6

4) a- sense of propriety or right
"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." -Eph 4:29 NKJV
    b- the state of being considerate or thoughtful
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." -2 Corinthians 9:8 NIV

5) to confer dignity or honor on 
"He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit...so that, having been justified by His grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life." -Titus 2:5,7 NIV ~~

A question of food

   Food's just been on my mind lately. I was already pondering it because of certain resolutions made on the occasion of the beginning of a not-old annual occurance. (It is really hard to come up with a synonym for New Year's.) Then it came up at Bible study. Then it came up in a conversation with another friend. As is typically the case after pondering, I came up with an analysis of three dangers to my said resolve:    

  1) Unhealthy eating - The pop, the ice cream, the processed food, etc. This one is probably the easiest for me. (Except maybe the ice cream. Pretty sure that there is an ice cream gene that just hasn't been discovered yet and I have two of them.) Too much soda and I feel sick. I like to cook and fast food is often disappointing. (How come it never looks like the picture? Is the sandwich in the picture made of plastic? Did they have a "Next Top Cheeseburger" contest to find the most photogenic model? These are the types of things that keep me awake at night. Not really.) But it's still there and I still make the wrong choices sometimes.
     1 Corinthians 10:31
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

2) Mindless eating - Why is it that eating helps us think? I'm making a to-do list for the day and dental activity seems to activate the most cranial activity. Or if I'm pondering some question (like McDonalds cheeseburger models) and all of a sudden I'm shocked to discover that not only is there a half a brownie in my hand, I've already eaten the other half! Or I'm bored and trying to figure out what to do, and going to the fridge seems most logical. It appears that a significant part of my subconcious is convinced that the answers to life will materialize in the glow of the fridge bulb.
     2 Corinthians 10:5
"We demolish arguments and every pretention that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

3) Emotional eating - Why is it that eating helps us not think? Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. :) This realization has been many years and twenty pounds in the making. Those girls who ended a bad day with a pint of Ben and Jerry's? I always thought they were someone else. (I was a Haagen-Dazs girl myself.)Sometimes even a Spirit-filled believer forgets they are full.
     Psalm 63:1,5
"O God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water....My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods." ~~

Point of life

(I'm not going to apologize for the dreadful lapse between the initial post and this one. Sometimes, life happens. Be glad I have a life!) :)
     I finished "Six Hours One Friday." It was good, but nothing life-changing. For some, it might be. It just wasn't where I'm at. (Probably because I haven't experienced a lot of failure in my past. Doesn't bode well for my future.) I remember reading "Passion and Purity" as a young teen. At the time, I didn't respond very well. I thought some of the advice was crazy, it was unrealistic, and unhelpful. I've never read it since, which is unusual for me. But I suspect it wasn't the author's fault...I just wasn't to the place in my maturity where I understood it. As a young adult, I read "Let Me Be A Woman", also by Elizabeth Elliot, and loved it. As a fiancee, I read "Created To Be His Helpmeet" and soaked it in. But those books came at the right time of life for me. So maybe sometime I'll revisit "Passion..." and get another take on it. 
     Anyway, next in my quest for reading worthwhile books: "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. It was required reading for premarital counseling, but really recommended for rereading regularly. (Say that ten times fast! I can't.) The premise is that marriage is to make us holy first, and find joy along the way. Convicting!
      All this to get to what I really wanted to post - this quote from it, quoting Liza Mundy:
"'Pay no attention to these tears; they are meaningless. I'm thinking quite clearly; this conversation isn't upsetting me nearly as much as it seems. I'm just fatigued and a little bit stressed and feeling hot!' was what I wanted to say. Because I knew, like most women perhaps, that sometimes tears are no more significant than sweating."
     1 Peter 3:7 NAS - "You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way..."
What a daunting task! :)  

Another beginning

One of my New Year's resolutions was to start posting on here again. Already I feel behind. But, I reason, technically, today is the start of my new year because it's the first day that I go back to work. Til now it's been days of nothing but visiting family, sending Christmas cards, visiting friends, watching movies, greeting visitors, hanging with My Better Half (MBH), traveling for family, traveling for recreation, traveling for non-vocation responsibilities, and doing laundry from traveling.
     Now real life has come home to roost! Other resolutions -
Spiritually: renew daily time with God.
Emotionally: be more gracious.
Mentally: read beneficial books.
Physically: finally lose this weight even P90X didn't handle. :)

     So far, so good. I have my Bible and notebook out. MBH and I discussed an issue and settled it. (The decision wasn't the one I wanted, but I will keep my critical mouth shut this time.) I am halfway through "Six Hours One Friday" by Max Lucado. Today for breakfast I had plain fruit tea, two eggs, 1 1/2 slices of toast and I took my vitamins.
     And even though I know the jokes about New Year's resolutions, and the facts behind the jokes...I'm still in favor of them. Everyone needs places to start over, intersections in the road to plant a flag and say "I'm changing direction!"
     "From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard Him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, the new has come." -2 Corinthians 5:16-17